it’s been awhile, but… yes. BIRTHDAY POST!11!!

happy twenty-fourth to daphne.
happy twenty-first to bailey.
happy nineteenth to jamie.
happy twenty-fifth to antwon.
happy twenty-first to abby.
happy seventeenth to bucket.
happy twenty-sixth to carter.
happy twenty-first to leighton.
happy twenty-fourth to axel.
happy thirty-second to alex.
happy twenty-seventh to alia.
happy twentieth to matthew.
happy eighteenth to andrew.
happy twenty-second to pixie.
happy seventeenth to sugar.
happy twenty-eighth to natalia.
happy twenty-third to david.
happy twenty-second to shay.
happy twenty-second to hunter.
happy twenty-fourth to sebastian.

aye, it’s my monthly… one of these. meaning: birthday post!11! so.

let’s just act like they’re all late. happy twenty-second birthday, benson. happy twentieth birthday, keegan. happy twenty-first birthday, tristan. happy eighteenth birthday, duck. happy twenty-fourth birthday, lucas. happy thirty-first birthday, devin. happy twenty-third birthday, charlize. happy eighteen birthday, gage. happy twenty-fourth birthday, linnaea. happy nineteenth birthday, daisy. happy thirty-third birthday, shane. and… happy twenty-fifth birthday, tatiyana.

and because these all happen over the next week. happy eighteenth birthday, billie. happy twentieth birthday, forest and… fran. (~.~) anddd happy twenty-second birthday, jude and callie.

ah, yet another belated birthday post~. HERE IT GOES~.

happy belated thirty-second, brody and holly. happy belated thirtieth, cassidy. happy belated twenty-fifth, colby. happy belated twenty-seventh, matteo. happy belated twenty-fifth, channing. andddd happy twenty-sixth, hayden.

and, because i know i won’t be back here in time for the others: happy happy twenty-second, lars. happy twenty-fourth, marcus and happy nineteenth, craig~.

another belated birthday post, man. happy beleted twenty-eighth, kelsey. happy belted thirty-third, nevada. happy belated twenty-fifth, rain. and happy belated seventeenth, buffy and willow!1!!

AS ALWAYS, MISSING BIRTHDAYS, YO. so, happy belated twenty-third birthday, max, happy twenty-second birthday, molly~. and, because i’ll forget tomorrow: happy nineteenth birthday, cerise!1!!

craig roland daniel ii — college student, k. myung…soo, eighteen
daphne ariana shim — new york local, g. woo ri, twenty-three
everett david ngai — new york local, song j. ki, twenty-five
ophelia dionzya chumly — college student, j. eun ji, nineteen
robert braxton jung — new york local, y. jung, twenty-five

okay. i missed a few birthdays again, too. so, happy belated twenty-third birthday, logan. happy belated… twenty-hundred sixty-eigth birthday, josiah. happy BIRTHDAY, leander. ur twenty-one. and, because i’ll forget tomorrow: happy twentieth birthday, denver alfredo torte glass.

MOLLY ANELIESE ZHIN, TWENTY-ONE, P. SUN.YOUNG

she was… a scream queen. she was probably ~scouted by seth when she was walking out of a bathroom at pizza hut (/lol) when she was a junior in high school. like, fer srs, she was probably only sixteen at the time, and he was like: “NA-AH, I FIND A MINT LIKE YOU HERE AT PIZZA HUT?!?!?!) (/he’s not actually from boston, he just talks like he is) and, she was like: “…….. huh?” which led to him asking if she wanted a role in one of the films that him and greg was doing at time, and her being like: “…… OH, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT…” one thing led to another, and she did do the movie. her role was basically getting her head chopped off after walking around in a bikini top and jorts at a car wash. so, she spent most of her time wading in a pool of fake blood, and ya. seth JUST REALLY, REALLY LIKED HER, and started casting her in all of his movies after that. then, he made this movie called… slash, about a guy who slashes people’s asses at grocery stores. yeah, i took that from that one news story, because it’s too freaky and weird and hilarious, and seth would totally make a movie like that. but, ja. she played the ~heroine who eventually took the slasher down with his own exacto knife or whatever the fuck he was using to get at the ladiez and gentlemen. the movie? fucking awful. she knew it was awful, but it was bringing in money for her - which she really needed, considering she had skipped out on college and, even though she’s still living with her parents, she needs money for food and clothes and stuff. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. long story short? it’s become a cult classic, and ever since then, other directors, bigger name directors like craven and raimi and shit have tried to get in contact with her because the movie amused them so fucking much. she’s just like: “oh god, I DON’T WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE GIRL WHO TOOK DOWN THE ASS SLASHER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.” so, she’s kind of started hiding out at her parent’s place and with friends and such, because she doesn’t want to be drug into anymore movies. it’s been like this for… lol, a good six months and fangoria and shit have been posting articles like: “IS SO-AND-SO DEAD? OR HAS SHE LEFT THE BUSINESS FOR GOOD?” and, once again, she’s like: “OH GOD.” she never really wanted to be an actress that much, anyway? she liked it and all; it was fun when seth wasn’t trying to get her to take her pants or shirt off on set, but yeah. there were other things she wanted to do, like: video game design. she’s always been a pretty big gamer. she’s always been a pretty big dork. and, she was really upset that she couldn’t go to comic con this year. REALLY FUCKING UPSET. but, hey, that’s the price you pay for deciding to work for seth hayes in the first place~~. but, ja. she’s just really dorky and really. socially awkward? making bad jokes, always making refs to games and sci-fi shows and sci-fi/bad comedies/kiddy movies from the eighties and nineties films, ect. she’s pretty chill, otherwise? lol, she probably has a thing with irrational fears, tho. like, she’s not afraid of spiders or heights or water like normal people. she’s afraid of, like, toupee’s, her bed falling through the floor when she puts too much weight on it, losing her ears, little kids screaming at her, ect. but, it’s not, lol, like debilitating to her or anything. they’re just things that make her freak out when she sees them. once again, tho: she’s chilled out usually, otherwise.

AXEL MIYAMOMOTTO KYE, TWENTY-THREE, CHOI KYU…HYUN

yeah, yeah, yeah. we all know about pepper and his creeper looks, and his creeper smiles, and his being way too cute at times while also still being able to maintain some sort of look on his face that makes you wonder whether or not he’s constantly plotting something devious. is his psychotic? no. but, really, psychosis is in the… eye of the beholder. there’s a 99.9 percent chance that he does have a narcissistic personality disorder, but it wouldn’t be because he was ~emotionally abused or ~molested as a child, or because he was bullied or anything. it just… is the way it is because… it ended up being that way. he probably comes from a pretty normal family? meaning: normal by psiyh standards, which isn’t really normal at all (so, watch out azn families that i haven’t attacked already; he may end up as part of your ~clan). but, yeah. his parents probably overpraised him or something when he a kid? probably for a stupid fucking reason, like, he picked up on reading and writing and stuff earlier than his other siblings did, or if he was the first born in the family, his parents were like: “OH GOD, WE HAVE A GENIUS ON OUR HANDS!1!!” and kind of commented on that to. everyone because they were ~proud of their kid. which, yeah, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your kid, but it ended up getting to his head at a super young age and kind of just. stuck. he probably did really r00d things to kids in elementary school - like, making them feel like complete rehtardz for pronouncing something wrong even if they were, like, seven or eight at the time. and, he always went out of his way to be the center of attention - not by making an ass out of himself, but by doing stuff like: alluring ~ other people his age to something he was doing at the time to show how ~good he was at doing whatever it was. whatever. it just got worse over time, obviously. at the point, lol. he kind of puts on a false personality - or, acts like he’s this chipper, friendly, nice guy when, really, he’s just kind of… lol. he doesn’t understand ~the emotions of others that well. like, if someone is happy about making a trivial achievement in their life, he’ll smile and nod, but he’s thinking: “i don’t get what’s so fucking awesome about that.” but, there’s also a chance that he’ll criticize whoever he’s around. he’s super, super critical about things, but whenever someone turns around and does the same to him? he gets super pissed off, because if someone doesn’t see him as perfect or, god forbid, actually god-like, that means that he’s useless, and he ends up sitting in his car staring at himself in the rearview mirror until he feels confident enough to go back inside and ~face whoever he was with. he’s def a pilot - like i mentioned to piper that one time, and it was something he decided when he was younger. he was playing some first-person flight simulating game and he was awesome at it, so he was convinced that this was what he was ~meant to do. and, he’s a good pilot, he just kind of hates the job. meaning: having to associate with the other dumbass pilots and he has no qualms telling them how much he hates them to their faces. he can’t make it obvious that he hates the job specifically, though - he doesn’t really realize just howmuch he hates it, because he isn’t that great at understanding his own feelings, so. he just plays more flight games and crashes the planes to make himself feel better about it. even though, lol. he crashes, and he’s like: ‘fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” because… yeah. he lost as something, so he has to go back and win the round and then crash again after winning. it’s this big psychotic cycle of ~self-satisfaction. yeah, basically? this sums up how he is and, lol. that makes him sound like the biggest fucking psycho ever, and he kind of is psycho, but he’s not a sadist or anything. so, he isn’t going to kill someone. he just thinks about it from time to time. he’s really just a self-praising jackass who has no idea how to do anything but talk about himself and be r00d to others all while not being able to understand his feelings or anything. that sums it up~.

KATERINA KSENIJA-GALINA SHERESHEVSKI, TWENTY-ONE, KIM JAE..KYUNG

in soviet russia… spoon bends you. okay, lol. i have no idea WHERE THIS IDEA EVEN CAME FROM, but it happened and i’m going with it. basically? her parents went to moscow for their honeymoon for some reason, fell in love with it and decided to just move there altogether. they stole some rando as fuck russian surname that they scammed out of the phonebook and… yeah, that was how it went. the both of them are super intelligent? like, her dad works for the space program there and her mom is a college professor of… aeronautics or some shit, so ja. they’re fluent in english, korean and russian - which means that katerina can speak all of them fluently, but lol. that doesn’t mean that she actually understands american culture because she doesn’t. at all. it’s not like the technology in russia isn’t advanced - because, it is, and she knows how to use electronics and shit, but for some reason, she convinced herself that the united states has been like the eighties… since the eighties. meaning: the awful outfits, the music, the pop culture, everything. she thinks that, like, lady gaga and shit and everything from after the eighties came from england. WHO KNOWS HOW THIS IDEA WAS PLANTED IN HER BRAIN, BUT IT WAS. i have no idea what she’s majoring in, but she’s going to spend most of her time watching eighties movies and listening to eighties music. she’ll need to get ~better introduced to newer stuff, like, lol. YEAH, SHE KNOWS WHO THIS AND THAT IS by name, but it doesn’t mean she KNOWS MUCH ABOUT THEM. someday. someday. she basically dresses like madonna or cyndi lauper did during their ~hay day, and people have bullied her for the last few years she’s been in the states because she’s so gullible. convincing her that people sleeping under your bed is a sign of endearment, lol… yeah. stuff like that. she’s not DUMB, she’s just not QUICK. SHE’S FOREIGN, GODDAMN IT, CUT HER SOME SLACK!1!! the one thing that isn’t eighties that she’s obsessed with is playstation - as in: the first playstation. so, she plays that a lot. like resident evil and she has an… lol, atari, too. and nes.